Choosing Finite or Infinite Game?
By Gloria Song
Facing Life-Altering Choices
About a month ago, I received a call from my eye doctor’s office; I was next on the waitlist for a cornea transplant. I have suffered from corneal dysfunction for over 20+ years, progressively losing my vision over time, and I am now legally blind. Unfortunately, there is no clear cure, only a treatment to improve vision through a cornea transplant, which may necessitate multiple procedures if the condition re-emerges throughout my lifetime.
While I have adapted to living with my limited vision, it still presents many challenges. Over the last three years, it has become increasingly important for me to restore my vision in order to live the fulfilling life I dream of.
However, it took me many years to finally allow myself to undergo the cornea transplant, despite its valid reasons. Today, I want to share this journey of making a potentially life-altering decision as I strive toward my own flourishing.
Finite Game vs. Infinite Game
Firstly, I want to introduce the helpful concept that allowed me to explore the decision to undergo a cornea transplant: finite versus infinite games. Both are perspectives I learned from the Human Systems Dynamics Certification program I am part of.
A finite game indicates a perspective where things are set within clear boundaries and timeframes. It allows us to examine issues within designated boundaries and timelines, and with known players involved. In contrast, the infinite game perspective is open and less structured, and it’s challenging to clearly define the structure of accountability and timeframe as things are constantly shifting. The Infinite Game is a perspective of navigating life as a complex system.
Examining Choices with Finite and Infinite Game Perspectives
Exploring choices at hand in both finite and infinite games allows us to consider issues in different ways. For example, if I view getting a cornea transplant as a finite game, I would focus on the immediate possibility of the surgery's success rate and the short-term recovery associated with it. I hesitated to make the decision to undergo surgery for a long time due to my fear of the potential risks the transplant might pose, as well as the lengthy recovery procedure required over the next 18 months.
However, if I see having a cornea transplant as an infinite game, my perspective shifts. While there is a relatively short-term recovery period, I am able to regain vision that will open up new possibilities in my life in the long term, here are just a few simple examples:
I look forward to a day when I can lie on a picnic mat in the park, reading a physical copy of my favorite books, articles, and other materials, highlighting them, and making physical notes in my notebook.
I look forward to a day when I can call out participants' names during my facilitation by seeing their name tags and being able to recognize their faces from the front of the room.
I look forward to a day when I can try skiing or snowboarding in the mountains of Vancouver, feeling the sensation of wearing this gear and sliding against the snow.
I look forward to a day when I can ride a bike in Stanley Park, regulating my pace by being able to see other riders and the path in front of me on a sunny day.
I look forward to a day when I can explore different options to pursue further studies without worrying about the amount of text/research materials that I have to read.
Navigating the world with more ease means that my capacity to live and create impact grows. If that becomes reality, what possibilities of life would be open for me? I can’t know for sure, but I know that things in my life that I had to withhold due to my limited capacity now become available to me, and it will become a seeding ground for my long-term growth as a student of life.
However, embracing the infinite game does not discount the risks I face. I still feel terrified of some potential risks the transplant may bring, but seeing my life as an infinite game helps me stay hopeful. While I do not know what the future holds, I choose to grant myself the gift of restored vision and healing.
Seeing life as an infinite game is an active declaration of my self-agency. In fact, It was one of the most empowering choices I made and one that I will remember in my leadership journey.
Now What? Moving ahead
Balancing finite and infinite game perspectives, I have made some choices in my life to honor my journey toward vision restoration. To prioritize my healing journey, I had to make several difficult decisions.
One of them was stepping down from the Chair of the Organization Development Network Summit this year. While I have been dedicated and remain committed to community building for the OD community, I have to prioritize my healing for at least several months. The absence required for healing created significant institutional risk for my committee and the overall success of the Summit. In the finite game, this is a huge loss, yet in the infinite game, it is a small pause to go a long way in creating a sustainable impact as a practitioner in the field.
Reflection - What’s Your Finite or Infinite Game?
Are you navigating any significant decisions? If so, I invite you to consider your choice at hand from both a finite and infinite game perspective.
If you see the choice at hand from the finite game perspective, what impact would it have on you?
In the infinite game, what possibilities/consequences does this choice have for you?
If you understand the impacts of this choice, what are your next wise actions?
Gloria Song is experienced Organization Development (OD) consultant, facilitator, and coach. She is designing and facilitating leadership and OD programs, working with clients from global tech, government, healthcare, and consulting sectors in Asia and North America. Gloria currently lives and works in Vancuver, Canada.